| March 21, 2005 Avalon update and pictures
 
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Sent:  March 21, 2005
Subject:  Avalon update and pictures
Hello friends!  Are you sick of me yet?  Actually, if you 
are...please tell us.  We're in this for 2 1/2 years, but you all 
don't have to serve the same sentence.  You are free to parole 
whenever you're sick of us!
Attached are pictures of my little baldy.  The crown and earrings 
were early Easter gifts from her papas.  She'll wear them for 
hours, constantly wiggling her head to feel the earrings 
jingle-jangle.  She thinks she's fabulous in them and can't get 
enough of herself in mirrors!  Too funny.
Several of the pictures are of the infamous Build A Bear Elmo 
I've written you about.  How cute is he?  She loves to listen to 
his heart and take his temperature.  She often sticks the syringe 
down his shirt and gives his "tubie" a "drink".  Sometimes, he 
"doctors" other animals.  But frankly, she likes to play nurse the 
most.  I love the giggle picture.  She's really just that amused 
with herself.
The pictures of bunny ears are from today.  Avalon had a clinic 
appointment for bloodwork and to be de-accessed.  Since it was 
a short day, Ambrosia and Aurora came with us to help distract 
her.  Ambrosia loves the bunny ears too.  Aurora, of course, 
was way too sophisticated for them.  They "didn't match" her 
outfit.  Heaven help me, teen fashion angst is looming 
frighteningly near...
First things first, let's cover the blood work.  From a series of 
pathetic ANC's below 100 last week, she rocketed to an 
impressive 4094 today.  Amazing what that little body can do!   
The score means she will, indeed, start the next phase of 
chemo on Thursday.  This will be two weeks of non-stop 
horrifying drugs.  NIck and I are walking an odd line between 
being scared of what's to come, and thrilled that we're about to 
get it over with.  These are the days that I'm glad; she's 
clueless.  She gets two more days of halcyon bliss, while we 
sweat out 1000 good and bad scenarios.  Basically, the 
universe will have its way, regardless.  We just have to be good 
little scouts and "be prepared".  'Nough said.
This morning also brought the end of the IV drugs at home.  
Halle-stinkin'-lujah!  I will admit that the sage advice offered by 
some friends in-the-know, was true.  It really did all get easier 
about the 8th or 9th dose.  Somewhere in there you...adjust.  Its 
kind of like our life since diagnosis.  You go on through the 
paces, doing what needs to be done.  Only periodically, do you 
realize what a weird place you're really in.  A few times I found 
myself "stepping back" from what I was doing, and marveling at 
the fact that I was actually pushing drugs into my daughter's 
main artery.  Not crying, not grossing out, just marveling at the 
fact that I wasn't doing either of the other options.  I can't quite 
put my finger on it.  I know it sounds horrid to all of you, but 
really...when you're in it, you don't have the time to dwell on that 
part of it.  You just do it, and then move on.  Someday, maybe, 
I'll be better able to verbalize this odd time and space warp 
we're in.
For now, its late, and this old lady is "low in the poots", as my 
grandmother would have said.  You know you're in serious need 
of sleep when you find yourself wistfully contemplating mattress 
commercials...
I hope you find my tiny, little, cross-dressing Yule Brenner as 
cute as I do.  I am here to tell you, that oddly shaped melon is 
the softest thing you'll ever smooch!  It must be tickly, she grins 
and squinches every time we kiss on her.  And I'm here to 
report, that yes, pasta clean-up is significantly faster!  Here's 
wishing you a smile, a laugh, and a warm hug...the ingrediants 
for a perfect day...
Love to ALL of you!!!
Alicia, NIck, Aurora, Ambrosia, and Avalon
      
      


Our Journey:
      
      Avalon's Army of Angels